How to form emotional attachment to others?

Hi, idk how to start this other than saying that for some reason I feel like I can't form connections with people. I am a teenage girl with a lot of good friends and people to talk to. Not even trying to brag but I have a good amount of people (around 6) that have told me that they consider me one of their closest friends. My friend group is very open and we talk about problems with mental health/other topics all the time. They are all great unique people. Only problem is I feel like I can't connect on an emotional level to them at all. I don't think they realize this tho because I put a ton of effort into my friendships, maybe too much? I'm not sure.

I do think this could be because I don't talk about my problems. Well my real ones. Idrk how to explain this but (I've also told my friends about this) I kinda have these lists in my head telling me what I can and cannot share. I use the things on my can list to make it seem like I don't hide everything and have problems. And ig they are problems but not as much of problems as the ones on my cannot list.

Another thing is, this is gonna sound rlly self centered, I kinda feel like there's no one besides myself sometimes? Like I'm just in my own mind and there's no one else besides me in my brain. Idk if that makes sense but I just feel so alone yk.

I also struggle with anorexia so that's pretty much all I think about 24-7. I have told absolutely no one about this. Maybe just the constant thinking in my brain without letting anything out is causing this emotional detachment but idk.

And it's not as if my friends don't care. I've been told by a few that they talk about me with each other and how they're worried. They've always said I can talk to them if I want but I just can't.

I hate to say this but I also kinda view everyone as lists. Just lists of every attribute, good and bad, that I know of. I'v never rlly been able to have that feeling of "oh I admire this person so much and I have this deep feeling of love/connection with them". Both platonic and romantically.

How do I fix this and if I can't how do I live with this? Any advice needed, sorry for the paragraphs. Thanks!

Edit: I've also been told the lists and stuff could be OCD if that's a possibility? Ik OCD and ED's go hand and hand a lot.