Growing Up.

I'm 17, will be turning 18 in a few months, and I'm nervous. Not only will I be entering adult life, but I'll be attending college in the fall, which adds more when it comes to what to think about. I used to enjoy growing up, and used to think that growing up would be fun and exciting. But after these past few years, and now with just a few months left before adulthood, it feels too real. I was with someone for almost 2 and a half years, I gained and lost friends, I attended extracurricular programs at my school, got a job, got a cat, took a trip to another state, met a former secretary of defense twice, attended two summer camps, preformed on stage for band, preformed in a parade for band, got into drama, the whole thing.

I feel like the life I lived as a teenager was filled with a lot of fun and exciting things, and leaving that feels weird. With every negative there was a positive, and that was especially true my freshman and sophomore years. I knew the most people, always had something to do as a result, and wasn't viewed poorly by others, and if I was then I wasn't aware. And now here I am, typing this on my laptop in my front room. I feel like life has winded down, and that the excitement and fun isn't going to replicate itself like it did then. Don't get me wrong, I don't think I "peaked" in high school, but I feel like life naturally settling down is making me feel the weight of life more than when I was younger, oblivious and not having the time to let life settle down.

I don't quite know as to why I'm posting this lol, I just figured this might be a nice place to vent? I'm also curious if any of you all are kind of going through anything similar. Anyways, enough negativity, positivity wins. So now time for me to spill what I am happy about, grateful for, and looking forward too. I have come closer to Christ now than I ever have before, and I am secure and confident in my faith, which is great. I also have met some great people, and am convinced now more than ever that these people will be in my life for many years to come, and I hope they are. I also know what I intend to do as a career, which has been a great thing to discover. I also have had a great time making memories, and likely will make more when I grow up, just at a slower pace.

I also have grown a lot mentally. I feel like I've better matured as an individual, and despite me having to deal with bad things, and having been a bad person at times, I've taken it all in strides, focusing on improvement and putting my best foot forward. I think that I've become a better man for that, and a better person for myself and my loved ones. I look forward to attending college. I might get into my college's honors program, and I know people going into the same thing I am in the fall, so that should make it easier. But I'm keeping my heart and mind open to anything, better to stay open and optimistic in my opinion. But yeah, idk where I'm going with this tbh, I think I just needed a place to yap. Thanks for reading if you did.

TLDR; I'm nervous about growing up, I had a great time as a teenager, but I'm optimistic for what the future has in store for me. Also I met a former secretary of defense twice.

:)