feeling guilty with owning/buying tamas

was wondering if anyone dealt with something similar. i feel horrible guilt buying tamas/accessories and sometimes (becoming more often) guilty playing them. i work ten hours shifts four days a week so i have to tend to my tamas at work and i only do it on break or when i run to the bathroom about twice a day. my tamas obviously aren’t the happiest bc of this but i have a horrible fear of people finding out. i’m very thankful for the sitter function on the uni. my original connections never make it throughout the week though (which also adds to the guilt…) does anyone have any advice or can relate? i’m a 17yo female working an office job full time if that helps