Normal people are really built different.

I realize how different a normal healthy parent/person treats their children compared to my childhood when people talk about their parents or their kid.

My friend said her mother gave up drinking entirely because she saw the mother crying once while drinking. That her mother would help her to learn important skills despite her not having it.

A coworker was talking about getting their kid gift card for their hobbies. And thinking what middle school kid should go to. Or making effort for them. Going to places they wanted to go to.

or the fact kids can actually hug their mother after kindergarten.

Or another friend said she is taking a vacation to visit her parents. She was really excited and happy about it .

I then realized I never had a mom. My life were just me fighting trying to not giving into their manipulations. I had to accommodate their needs and wants and wishes. I didn’t have dreams or expectations for future. I didn’t even think I could live past 25. I was never a human in their mind.

People would talk about their parents and I just had to nitpick good things or made up lie or reframe from this topic completely.

I can’t even from normal relationships because how anxious I am just to talk about myself,my interest or beliefs.

It’s just sad.