HELP SOS Intense temperament baby

Edit: please know that I would never hurt my baby. Being around him is absolutely hard and sometimes I need to be away from him. I know that some of my feelings are not "normal" and that I should be bonding with him. That's why I have medication along with psychology and counseling. I am also trying everything (all I want is for him to be okay) we have been to chiropractors, osteo for cranial adjustment, we've paid for a private paediatrician, we have changed formilula to goats milk, I've spoken to plunket, we've tried baby spa and baby massage, we are awaiting an appointment for a tongue tie assessment. We've been to the gp and asked about cmpa and have been dismissed. I promise I have tried to resolve the problem but nothing yet has changed. I do need to give it time and I also need to get more help for myself. I was just seeing if anyone had been in this potion before and if they have gotten to the light at the end of the tunnel. I just want some hope to hold onto

Edit: I have PPA and ppd and am on medication also awaiting therapy. My partner is wonderful and so hands on and will probably have to leave work because I can't handle our baby. I just want to know if anyone has had a baby like this and did things actually get better.

Did anyone have a baby with an intense temperament. Like 0-100 out of nowhere. No fuckin chill. Can be calm and content and then full blown screaming in a second

If he's hungry he screams like he's never been fed before. Hes got this loud screeching scream that is not your typical cute baby cry

He is easily frustrated too. If you pull the bottle out he screams. If he can't get the toy he is trying to he screams.

Anyway did anyone have a baby like this and if you did how did they turn out as children. And when did the screaming stop because right now I hate my life

He's 12 weeks old and I haven't enjoyed one day of life since he's been born

I feel like I must of done something seriously wrong in my past life