Married women, how differently is your marriage treated compared to straights?

Other than the overt homophobia & hate, I wanted to ask about the more subtle ways you notice differences between you and your wife, compared to women in heterosexual marriages?

Do you notice people looking at you differently if you reveal your partner is a woman, and do you have any anecdotal stories to tell?

Do people ever treat you as if you're not married, presumably because they treat marriage to men as "real" marriage? Did you feel like you had to arrange details of your wedding differently, (apart from the non-invitation of homophobic family of course)?

What advice would you give to younger lesbians who date for marriage or are engaged? I'm single but I date for marriage so I'm curious, thank you!