My dad doesn't understand hospice and is in denial, doesn't want to pay for it, and my mom is approaching the point where she is going to need end of life care. Any advice?

My dad is a contractor and they found themselves without health insurance back in 2020 when my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. She went into remission for awhile after chemo/immunotherapy/surgery and then last year the cancer returned with a vengeance. We tried doxil (sp?) and it caused more issues than it helped. She kept becoming neutropenic and stuff. Eventually the doctor declared her NED but a few weeks later they called her saying "Actually you need emergency exploratory surgery" and lo and behold there is an inoperable mass that is all in her stomach, on her aorta, and in her back.

Through out all of this, my parents went into like $1 million in debt. My dad has always made pretty decent money but without insurance, no one can afford this & now he is getting old and he is also refusing to leave her side because he knows deep down there isn't much time left with her. They are being told ~$330,000 to do Keytruda... my parents are at a tipping point where, if she takes this treatment, they may end up homeless while she's sick from the side effects and there is a very small likelihood that it even works.

I have accepted that my mom is going to die. She is in a lot of pain and once she tells the cancer center at the hospital that she doesn't want to go forward with any more treatment, I assume they'll cut her off from the opiates. She has tried asking my dad about hospice or palliative care but he is so freaked out by the whole thing that he isn't dealing with it & my mom is so worried about how to even pay for that but she also doesn't want to be in pain until she finally goes - she's in pain with the oxycodone, so without anything I can imagine she'd suffer a lot. I also don't think he understands how hard it will be to take care of her through it even WITH pain meds.

My dad is paranoid about financial aid assistance for some reason as well, which is why they've never applied for it. I don't know what to do. My sister and I don't have any medical release or POA or anything - my dad has all of those rights. We hardly know any information about the prognosis or anything because he doesn't want us coming to appointments (and the hospital usually only allows so many people). I just don't know what to do. If I were to contact the hospital social worker or a patient advocate, can they even help me if I don't have access to her medical stuff or any legal power over this? Do you have any recommendations for affording hospice care? Can she get financial assistance behind his back? I don't know how any of this works and I just don't want to see her suffer. I am sorry for rambling. I just don't know what to do.

TIA.