Sometimes I go little crazy and think...

IMPORTANT NOTE: This is more of a satire and just kind of religious-fairytale fantasy I am thinking of late night after one more completely meaningless and painful day in a hell. Please don't "argue" about it or bring out all of the critiques of it because, obviously, I know this is not true and it sounds more like a fool's dream.

Sometimes I think...

That this reality really is something like a Demiurgic world and that everything as we percieve it naturally should be flipped around.

That which affirms our life urges and instincts and gives us positive emotion is actually evil and affirming a Demiurgic world, immersing us more and more into hell.

That this really is some kind of grandeour test of conscience and reason and those who are the happiest with this reality will be terribly mocked and punished for their approving and celebration of hell we live in.

That all of them who fight so much for "growth" of life and everything related to it will be left in this hell forever since they live it so much but this time the other side of chaos will overwhelm them.

Those who are the greatest in this world and struve for it (including me sometimes unfortunately) will really be the biggest fools when the "real" world comes to existence.

Biggest contributors to this life will be on a wall of shame and ascetics will be celebrated. Self-murderers will be the biggest heroes.