I Shouldn’t Have Reinstalled Hinge

It’s about 2 months since my breakup, have tried now three times on Hinge, I get these moments of “I’m going to move on”. I always end up deleting the account for the same reason, I want my ex back. We had such a unique connection that I know I will never be replicated or replaced, and scrolling through different profiles it keeps sinking in how unique she is.

I never believed in the idea of soulmates or “the one”, she completely changed my perception. From the moment I met her everything just clicked, we sat and had coffee until the place closed then followed that up with pizza. We never fought except for the day of our breakup, and again a week after which caused her to block me. There’s no better word for the relationship other than magical. I would literally do anything if it meant a second chance. I have been working on self improvement and have taken care of most of the causes for the breakup that I recognize. All of this benefits me, but let’s be honest it’s all for her. I told her on several occasions that I couldn’t have imagined of anyone more perfect for me, and I still believe that. I miss her everyday and cry for her everyday. I pray to God every night, asking for the strength and guidance so I may earn her love back.

I am doing better compared to a few weeks ago, but my feelings for her haven’t changed and I doubt they will. I don’t know how she feels now, and there’s no point in speculating. However, during our relationship I know this wasn’t one sided. She once referred to me as “the best part of her every day”, and those words still carry significant meaning to me.

I know it’s not beneficial to my healing, but I do read success stories here. I hope my situation will turn into one. Apart from the break up the rest of the relationship was great, and I know she loved and trusted me.