Why do I have such an obsession with BL

Why is it that when I read BL I get such a heartthrob feeling than I do with other comics\manhwa or novels and it just doesn’t make sense cuz I’m a guy and I don’t want anyone to know about this, Idk why two guys being all lovey makes me feel like that but irl I wouldn’t feel like that (maybe cuz people ugly💀💀) Seriously tho idk why I have such an obsession with reading it … hiding the fact that I read BL is crazy in my opinion 😭😭