I [20/M] finally got the courage to confront my lecturer [30s/F]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/himrhedgehog

I [20/M] finally got the courage to confront my lecturer [30s/F]

TRIGGER WARNING: accusation of animal abuse, bullying

Original Post - undelete Dec 14, 2018

All my problems began about two months ago when she accused me of closing a dog's tail in his crate door (I'm wanting to get a degree in an animal related field). What happened was that the dogs tail slipped in between the bars and must have somehow given the illusion that I'd trapped his tail. I definitely did not and the dog did not make any noises. She saw me and went "EXCUSE ME, what do you think you're doing"? I looked at her so confused like "Uhh"? Then she wandered off. It only registered later that she must have thought I'd trapped the dogs tail.

Anyway since then she has been down marking all my work. Before I was getting A- and B+. Now I'm getting C and E! We did an experiment where my 34 year old brother helped me out with an essay, he said it's definitely worth an A if not A+. Well low and behold last Friday we got our results back, I got a D- and all my class buddies were getting As and Bs and Cs. So now I knew for sure it was personal.

Over the weekend I had a bit of Dutch courage and messaged her personally, telling her that I have evidence to support my claims (wrote it down in a diary, kept all my work). That I know she's holding a grudge on me about the incident which didn't even happen. I also asked why she did not hold me back after class to explain her concerns as it took me a couple of hours later to realise what she meant when she was rude to me (I wish dogs could speak, he'd vouch for me). I said she can possibly be sabotaging my future career due to making false assumptions and if the issue is not rectified within the end of the week I'm going to higher powers. I know she's read my message and she hasn't been in at all this week. Today is the third day without her. What does this mean? Should I see management about this or just wait it out? It's worrying me greatly as this one make believe incident may end up sabotaging my career and costing me a few grand.

Also before anyone asks, yes this lecturer marks our work.

TL;DR: Getting bad marks on my work because lecturer accused me of closing a dog's tail in a crate door which never happened

RELEVANT COMMENTS

jimmyjrdanceparty

I understand you have been frustrated, but in my opinion you handled this really indelicately and it's likely going to backfire on you. Instead of approaching her openly, you sent an inebriated message accusing her (rightfully or not) of holding a grudge and threatening to talk to her superiors before even getting a response from her. For the future, taking things to a confrontational place right off the bat is not a good way to resolve issues and usually makes people even more defensive and combative.

OOP

Ok, so should I go and see the superiors today regardless? The reason I messaged her is to give her the initiative to fix the problem before I went to them.

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LicoriceBeach

"she must have thought"

Did you ever have a conversation about this?

"I knew for sure it was personal"

This is when you go to your professor and ask them why you got the marks that you did - that you feel your work deserves better but that maybe you just don't understand. You ask for a reasonable explanation. When you don't get that reasonable explanation, you go to the department head. Or you go to the department head from the start.

"I had a bit of Dutch courage and messaged her personally"

Be careful to not sabotage yourself.

OOP

I know she thought I trapped the dogs tail as another buddy of mine heard her muttering about "that poor dogs tail" as she was storming off in his direction. I found out a few days after the incident as I asked about four people who were within a few feet of me if they remembered anything about it.

To be honest when it was me doing the essays alone at first I thought I may have just not been understanding the subject properly but I had people from class review it and some said it was even better than theirs. And then after my brother helped me out, it became obvious it was all related to that one incident as that's exactly when my marks started heading south.

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Sneakys

As someone who has worked in a university and taught classes, I caution you to temper your expectations in regards to how this will turn out for you. I would also like to point out that this:

"I also asked why she did not hold me back after class to explain her concerns as it took me a couple of hours later to realise what she meant when she was rude to me"

Is not her responsiblity. She has no obligation to explain why you’re doing poorly. The onus is on you to take the initiative and (respectfully) address it with her. You should have reached out the first time after you received a poor grade, not continued to do what you’re doing before. Your friend’s grades are not relevant to this discussion (and frankly neither your lecturer nor her supervisors are going to care about them).

OOP

Surely if you'd thought someone had harmed an animal you'd have called them back after class and not let the wound fester?

I tried to speak with her but she was unbelievably short with me and brushed me off.

Sneakys269

Why do you assume she didn't check the animal after you left?

Did you actually reach out to her about your grades? Did you ask for feedback? Are there on campus resources to help with the subject matter and did you avail yourself of them? If you did any of these things, do you have an actual record of doing so?

Please note: I'm not asking you these questions to be difficult. I'm asking you because these are the first questions you're going to be asked by her supervisors when you meet with them.

OOP

It would have been awhile before she checked on him as as soon as she thought she saw it happen she stormed off and muttered something about "that poor dogs tail".

Honestly, afterwards when I realised she thought I'd trapped the dogs tail I didn't think it would be such a big deal, I didn't do it so I didn't worry about it until I noticed my grades slipping directly after said incident.

I am not aware of any resources available to me on campus that deal with these things. I looked back on old messages and found the date of where she brushed me off, so I'll add that to my evidence list. She told me to reread the class handbook (?!) and that was that. Yes I did reread it but was confused as to why she asked me to.

On why OOP had his brother help him

My brother has had excellent grades his whole life and won scholarships so I trust him 100%. I was confused when I saw my first poor grade as imo I thought it was one of the best papers I'd done so far this year. Then when the next one came through and the one after that, I picked up a pattern. I tried speaking to her in class but she is unbelievably short with me whereas she isn't with my buddies.

OOP Added in the comments

Ok. To be honest I just thought she'd read the message, think on it, then apologize (genuine or not) and then fix my marks for me. Then we could just sweep it under the rug. In my mind I just thought it was decent to give the person who could possibly be costing my career and money the chance to make things right before they got worse.

OOP Added a small update to the post

UPDATE: Have just been to an appointment with a superior. They were extremely understanding and I showed all my evidence. Yes my two class buddies helped out.

Update - undelete Dec 12, 2018 (8 days later)

I ended up seeing the superiors and informing them of everything that had gone on. They were actually really understanding. One of the superiors took my essays overnight to review them, and from the way he worded his conversation afterwards it was clear that he did not think they were worth such low grades. (I am going to submit them for a regrading). He was glad I had brought this to his attention and although he could understand my frustrations, he said I should have come to see him first, instead of messaging the lecturer on Facebook. He also implied that it's best if the Facebook group is removed.

Amazingly I was also told that she is only lecturing one more class until she is changing positions. I am extremely relieved! I also managed to get a part time position in a vet clinic which will help me greatly.

So things are looking up and things weren't as bad as they were made out to be.

TL;DR: The outcome to this situation was not bad at all.

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