A close friend of mine remembers us fucking while high but not the consent that she gave me

To start, consent while intoxicated is not consent. I did not realize she was still high and would not have engaged if I realized she was. I am incredibly inexperienced with how weed works due to having mostly avoided it through my life, and she has been high very little, so neither of us realized how long it lasted or how high doses can affect memory and context

My friend, T, is a close friend of me and one of my partners, R (knows we were sexual). T had come into my media room while high, and I tripsat her for a few hours, she seemed to have a positive experience and was really happy with me keeping her from bad thoughts and such, however from this period she only remembers the one thing I did that was negative (non-sexual), which I stopped as soon as she asked

After a few hours we both thought she was fully sober, and just continued to chill to music. Eventually we began engaging in sexual stuff (we have an established sexual history) and did stuff that we usually do with a lot of checking that things are ok, encouragement to do what we each wanted, and not going further than established. We finished this round (nothing penetrative because the lube was in another partner's room and she was sleeping) and me and T cuddled up and she fell asleep for a minute. I am not sure if she remembers this time period based on the the story she gave to R

After T woke up we chilled a little more and got a little frisky again, and I brought up a fun thing I had discovered lately, and asked if it was something she thought would be fun. She eagerly said yes and we agreed to doing it, and went to do it. She had fun but a consequence of doing it wasn't very fun (not uncomfortable just made doing it less fun) so I agreed to stopping, and we went back to cuddling and fell asleep. She doesn't remember consenting to this, and remembers it as the last thing of the night

While she was asleep I woke up and, still horny, I was lightly fondling and grinding against her in her sleep. This is the one thing I did not ask and due to a variety of factors, including it not bothering her in the past to my memory, assumed she would enjoy it or not mind. She woke up to this and expressed positivity about it as I remember (I was also tired so not certain) and then told me I should go ahead and fuck her. I reminded her there was no lube and confirmed with her, and she consented to doing as much as we could anyways. We fucked for a while (with a lot of making sure it didn't hurt and was feeling good, she responded positively every time) until I finished, I advised her how to clean up, and we did aftercare and fell asleep. She does not remember telling me to fuck her, remembers this happening before the other thing, but remembers me finishing after the other thing. She also does not remember the aftercare

A week after this event, she told R what she remembers; that I did something uncomfortable to her while she was high, falling asleep, waking up to me fucking her (rather than her telling me to do so after she had), forcibly doing something new to her that she didn't like, and then just offhandedly telling her to clean up before letting her finally sleep. R is consequently furious with me, told our mutual polycule before me (everyone is close so this isn't going behind my back), has told me we're on hold until I apologize when T tells me about it (R told me with permission because I didn't know what she was mad about) and until I set things right after T talks to me. The issue with this now is that T has blocked me, and I'm having more anxiety because now I don't know how I'm supposed to apologize and make things right and worried that I'm going to lose a close friend and important partner

How should I handle this situation? I know I should wait until I'm approached and not approach them, I know I shouldn't try to excuse my behavior or explain it until they ask and just focus on their hurt, I know that it is my fault and not hers, but I'm worried I'm going to lose a large part of my life over this and I don't know what to do